read this first: life, love and loving each other the right way.

done?

now for your modern day love story.

once upon a time, boy meets girl…

their names are erica and jordan.

it’s something like a fairytale romance. they meet and are instantly attracted. he’s kind of a dog but she’s his exception. jordan’s there for erica when her father loses his battle against cancer. he’s the one that holds her for hours without saying anything. he’s the one that gave her christmas in july. he’s the one that makes her know what it’s like to cry tears of joy.

in short, they have a whirlwind romance. they fall in love.

but she’s 19. she needs to find herself. he’s 26, he’s got his shit together. so they break up. he fights for her but every time they take one step forward, they take two steps back. they try to be friends, but they’re not. she tries to move on but she can’t cuz she’s always holding onto him.

he waits. he waits two years. she graduates.

he’s been ready. he has his life together. she did her thing, went to college, experienced life a little.

he proposes.

and she says no to the love of her life.

she still has to find herself. she can’t do it while she’s with him because now he’s transferred to chicago and she wants the things that she experiences in her life to be hers, not theirs.

so they try to be friends again but they can’t just be friends. they say goodbye. maybe one day. maybe one day she’ll catch up to where he is. maybe one day they’ll both be ready and at the same place in their lives.  just maybe.

they try to move on.

another year passes.

…and girl meets boy… with baggage. but for the first time in the three years since her and jordan’s first break up she thinks that she could see herself with someone other than jordan. until she sees jordan on the street one day and she’s confused all over again.

they have awkward small talk and schedule lunch, like friends. they talk about what they’ve been doing, the people they’re dating and catch up like friends. she’s taken two steps forward and now she just feels like she’s back at square one.

she’s lost and brock, her new significant other is more than understanding. he tells her to take some time and think about what she wants. he’ll be there.

she takes a week. she’s still lost. she takes two. still lost, but she knows what she has to do.

if she can think about being brock with all his baggage, why wouldn’t she be with jordan, the love her life? so she breaks up with brock because she’s just not ready. he understands… especially after he heard from jordan.

…what?

she finds out from brock that he and jordan had lunch. jordan had him checked out to make sure he’s a good guy. jordan needs to know that she’ll be in good hands even if he can’t be with her.

she’s shocked and touched and heartbroken.

she finally calls him and goes to see him.

they spend the weekend together. they don’t talk about what happened. they just fall back into step with each other… like it’s always been with them.

the weekend comes to a close and the subject finally comes up. this talk is always the same with them. it’s always the last time they’re gonna do this. this is always gonna be their last night together. they always try to be friends and they can’t. they always come together just to break apart from each other.  and it hurts. they’re each others’ drug, each other’s high. except this time, she says there can’t be a “maybe one day.”

“you need to move on, WE need to move on and find the people we’re truly meant to be with. “

he cries.

“i can’t believe you’re saying this to me. i can’t believe i’m hearing this. i don’t need to look for the person i’m meant to be with because i’ve already found her.”

she cries.

but they can’t keep doing this to each other, she explains. they keep holding each other back because they keep holding on. the timing is just never going to be right. he keeps waiting for her and she just may never catch up where he is.

he finally agrees.

“i hear what you’re saying but i don’t agree. i’ll respect it, though. you know what the fucked up thing is? that you’re doing this for me and i’m doing this for you but it’s not what either of us wants.”

and that’s it.

there’s no happily ever after.

they just say goodbye and that’s it.

there’s your modern day love story. two people who really truly LOVE each other. this is a love story of two people who did everything right. they loved each other too much to stand in each others’ way of what they want/need out of life.

if you read the link from earlier, the writer poses these questions:

if you guys chose to be together, would you lose respect for him for IN YOUR point of view, giving into your needs? if you were to be with him, do you think YOU would “keep score” about all the sacrifices that you had to make? do you think the “sacrifices” you made would make you “stop loving him?”

and they answer to these questions is no for erica and jordan. in fact, they skipped all of it because they loved each other too much to even put each other in that situation.

and if we’re NOT all organically lonely people selfishly searching for someone to accompany us on our journey (and i really don’t think we are), how can it be that true, unselfish love leads two people to this point? how can this be right?