I love this video and am incredibly inspired by it. I’m so inspired by the Occupy movement and find Eisenstein’s ideas fascinating if a little Utopian. This isn’t a post about the Occupy movement though. It’s about how I resonated heavily with the idea, especially growing up in a city, that it’s difficult in our modern age to cultivate a feeling of community.
If someone dies or we alienate them, we replace the provider of this gift (product or service) and therefore this person in our lives with money. We’re living in a society in which it’s becoming increasingly convenient to lose a sense of community. We work from home, we take classes online, we text, we text someone to ask them out on a (first!) date, we Facebook and we avoid having to physically present and we (or at least I) wonder why I can’t seem to feel grounded. Then in a disjointed attempt to regain this innately human desire to feel connected and belong to a community, I text during in the waiting room at my doctors appointments, answer missed calls with a text, email apologies, and Facebook a close friend when we haven’t spent time together lately. All to feel like I’m still connected only to feel so utterly disconnected.
Modern marvels are great. Technology has streamlined many processes. Even my doctor has me set up an account online so he can update me with all my prescriptions and diagnoses. Facebook is great if you’re posting a funny tidbit you remember from last week’s girl session to brighten up her day, but not the avenue for “catching up” if you have been MIA in your friend’s life for a couple months. Nor is it the way you announce big news to your close friends. Kim Kardashian is right about one thing: Your wife shouldn’t find out you’re in another country via Twitter. First dates should be extended over the phone, at the very least. Apologies should be made in person whenever possible. Texts are for when you’re running late or can’t talk. Skype and FaceTime are for when you have an ocean between you, not a replacement for genuine face time.
It’s easy to forget that all of these advancements were meant to be enhancements, not replacements. I’m certainly guilty of having done it. Eisenstein says,
”Love is the felt experience of connection to another being. An economist says essentially more for you is less for me. But the lover knows that more for you is more for me too. If you love somebody, then their happiness is your happiness. Their pain is your pain. That’s love… Love is the expansion of the self to include the other.”
And I think that’s what’s been missing from my life, but I’m going to change the way I live because I’m tired of feeling off-kilter. I want to create intimacy and connection, not feed into deterioration of it. So let’s use all the time we’re saving with modern technology to take it slow. Let’s replace hour long texting sessions with hour long phone conversations and bring back catch up sessions over three hour dinners. And really, who couldn’t use a little more love in their lives?
Thanks Lian for the inspiration.
a beautiful mess 
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